"Treats you as something that's just crawled out of the primordial swamp" - Andrew Collins, BBC Radio 5 Live
Jason Statham is back in the series whose idea is to do Speed but using Jason's own body as the bus; he has to keep his heart rate above a certain number of beats per minute or he dies. Crank 2 had the absurdly brilliant tagline "He was dead. But he got better."
Stand-in reviewer Andrew Collins walked out of Crank 2 in utter disgust at around 20 minutes in, during the scene when a number of strippers had their breast implants exploded by high-impact bullets. It was left to Mark Kermode to explain that in doing so, he missed a scene where The Stathe has a fight with people wearing enormous U2-style papier mache heads, and another scene in which Jason appears on a game show with his mum being played by Geri Halliwell.