We Don't Live Here Anymore
“A horrible, self-obsessed, grizzly, preening, travesty of a movie - and they just keep talking.” Mark Kermode, BBC Radio 5live
Proof that Alfred Hitchcock's dictum - that while actors are not actually cattle, they should be treated as such - is correct. On the basis of We Don't Live Here Anymore, Mark advocated the outlawing of all films in which actors have a production credit.
The film, in which Mark Ruffalo, Naomi Watts, Laura Dern and Peter Krause play two bickering couples, made Mark want to invite the cast of Closer - of whom he had previously said “never before have I seen a more hateful set of people, and I’d gouge my eyes out rather than be in the same room as them” - in for tea and crumpets.
The screening made Mark worry he was going to have a heart attack. Gnaw your hand off rather than see it.
The film is somewhat overlooked in the pantheon of great Kermodian rants (in comparison to the likes of Entourage, Sex and the City 2 etc) but at the time, Mark found himself having to seriously weigh up whether We Don't Live Here Anymore was in fact worse than Sex Lives Of The Potato Men - which is of course "objectively, the worst thing ever to happen to cinema." He decided Sex Lives Of The Potato Men just about still had the edge, as it was so foul that it made you want to bath in Clorox, whereas We Don't Live Here Anymore just made you want to punch people.