Seven Seals

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Mark Kermode's mangling of the all-time classic Ingmar Bergman film The Seventh Seal, which made it sound less about existential death and despair and more like 120 minutes of marine mammals jumping through hoops.

The film features a knight returning from the crusades, who in the midst of 20th century existential angst loses his faith in the supernatural. He then plays a game of chess against Death.