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"A grotty, nasty, sleazy - not in a good way - stupid, infantile piece of dung, and it has no right to be in anybody's cinema whatsoever" - Mark Kermode, BBC Radio 5live

Lucifer falling from the heavens and plummeting to the eternal put of darkness visible had nothing on the decline of Roland Joffe at the moment he said, "you know what, Captivity - I'm going to sign on for that, that sounds like an absolutely great movie."

On the basis of Captivity being a Russian-American co-production, Mark asked that the Cold War begin again immediately.

The film is not torture porn since torture porn doesn't exist, but Captivity is made by people who wanted to make money out of thinking that it does.