The Lake House
"Terrible acting, terrible script, terrible direction, bad idea, badly executed, goes on for ages, awful, awful, awful" - Mark Kermode, BBC Radio 5live
Keanu-nu-nu Reeves is an architect. Sandra Bullock is in yet another bad film. The writer of Proof, er, proves that he has never read a time-travel book in his life - hence Keanu fails to ask Sandra what the stock prices will be in the future, so that by the time he gets there he will be a millionaire.
One critic noted that the two-year time gap device actually worked since two years is about the amount of time it takes Keanu Reeves to react to something anyway.
The thing that actually bothered Mark the most, however, was that the eponymous lake house is made of glass, and the exterior shots clearly show that the attic in which Keanu spends large amounts of the film does not in fact exist. An error made worse by the fact that Reeves is an architect, and so his character really should have spotted that sort of problem.
Minus ten points were offered by Mark to anyone who could not immediately identify who was in the car in the crash at the beginning.
Simon said that the difference between himself and Mark was that despite Mark's review, he would still rather see this than Hard Candy. (If Simon did see it, he never revealed it. Then again Richard Bacon didn't see it either, but he still filed a review for a national newspaper saying that he hated it. Never review a film you haven't seen, Richard).