Eragon

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Formulaic fantasy whiffle whose cleverest idea is to swap the "d" in "dragon" for the next letter in the alphabet.

It was based on a book written by a 15-year-old, Christopher Paolini. But when the clip was played, the quality of the dialogue was so bad that one listener suggested the writer be held back a few years at school.

The review had a fine array of Mark Kermode's very best impressions, especially of John Malkovich and Lord Jeremy of Irons. "The egg hath hatch'ed" was particularly impressive. It was evidently transparent that most of the actors involved were simply doing the film for the cheque, and this led to a discussion on the difference between ripe and hammy acting.

Although the film makes some worst film of all time lists, Mark didn't rant about it so much as find it laughable.

James King, who watched the film alongside Mark, identified the characters as all being ripped off of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

Lord Of The Rings is the sine qua non for Eragon.